


I Have No Future With The Exception Of This Gray Door I Found

by 34c



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, also called, i wrote a 4k+ fic about two characters who have never even met, this is not as weird as you might think, wow i should updating my soul eater au fic but instead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 08:18:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5409698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/34c/pseuds/34c
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even after all the resets. Even after all the 'happy' endings. </p><p>Chara hasn't seen real daylight for who knows how long. All they can do is watch Frisk in empty nonexistence and just hope for the day Frisk picks up that stick and slaughters everyone in the ruins.</p><p>Or maybe they won't have to wait that long to see someone else again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Have No Future With The Exception Of This Gray Door I Found

**Author's Note:**

> ok im not 100% sure of what undertale mechanics could cause any of this to happen but just. roll with me here

Chara never knew why they wanted to exist in the first place. They just guessed it was just a feeling all beings in nonexistence suffer.

_Whoosh. A soccer ball whizzes by. Frisk is playing their first soccer game. Toriel is cheering them on vigorously from the background. Sans is eating a hotdog, and Mettaton has a megaphone. He’s shouting to Frisk with Toriel._

None of this mattered.

_Frisk catches the ball and carries it beyond the opposing team’s defense. They dodge like a pro, swerving in and out of the opposing defense like a snake. As if they’ve done this before._

None of this would even happen to them. 

_The tension is high. The whole crowd is on their toes. They all want Frisk to shoot. Even the opposing team wants Frisk to make it. To make the goal, to score the winning shot and bring home a big gold trophy._

Never would they be able to do this. It was hopeless to dream. 

_Frisk poises themselves for a split second, the tension thickening like wax. They shoot._

It was impossible they would ever be happy like this. 

_Goal!_

Chara growled at the image in front of them. They threw a fist against what felt like solid matter, only featureless and without texture. Chara wasn’t sure what made it solid in the first place. They waited a moment for their fist to stop hurting, then pounded it again. No vibrations. Nothing.

They growled at themselves and at the image that still seemed to play. They couldn’t even tell where it came from, only that it was there. This is what Chara did 24/7: they watched Frisk. They watched everyone. It was all they could ever do. After all, that’s what happens to creatures like them. They are doomed to a boring nonexistence.

What always perplexed Chara was that this wasn’t the only outcome. Had Frisk taken the stick and hit against the first Froggit they met, maybe Chara would have had a shot. Maybe they could have tasted snow and breathed for the first time in who knows how long. Maybe they could have seen Toriel again and felt real blood pump through their veins.

But no. They were doomed to watch Frisk. On this one little image which seemed to follow them everywhere they went. As if Chara was a part of Frisk just…eternally stuck there. In a weird state between nonexistence and a mortal mind. 

And Chara was sick of it. They got up off the blackness, and as soon as they did, Chara took off.

Where? It didn’t matter. Chara knew very well nothing existed here. The black extended into the farthest reaches of infinity. There was never an end. 

Of course, Chara knew that well because running around here had been their secondary past time for a while. Even with the resets, which seemed few and far between, Chara never saw that glimpse of the real world. They never felt opportunity. If Frisk killed anyone, it was long after Chara wouldn’t be able control them.

So they just stuck to running around. Time here seemed to blur and have no meaning. Chara could easily tell when a second passed because the image of Frisk’s view followed them around, but what good was it if Chara never aged and no one ever existed in here? 

Resets always changed everything, except for three things: Sans, Frisk, and Chara. Frisk always knew how to reset, Sans knew about the multiple timelines, and Chara was a combo of the two. They knew pretty well that somewhere, a timeline where they took over existed. Or that the possibility of it happening did. They knew what resets were, and had a pretty good idea of the possibilities that could occur in different timelines.

Because, once again, Chara was _there._ They watched Undyne take over the underground when Papyrus and everyone else died; they also watched the spectacular failure that was the MTT™ brand empire crumble into a pile of glittery dust. Chara was both everywhere and nowhere. Frisk was not just the only thing they saw.

But, whichever creature they were most like, Sans or Frisk in the giant scheme of resets, it didn’t matter. Chara didn’t care. 

They ended up running until their legs stopped, and they collapsed to the ground in a tired heap. 

They made a loud, angry noise at themself and turned over, cursing the very existence of the world. For what kind of punishment did Chara deserve that involved an exile into a reset-resistant and empty limbo?

They mumbled a couple of curse words at the darkness, while something bright stood against the background seemed just barely to pop into view.

Not the images again.

‘Greaaaaaaat, that stupid image again. I don’t want to fucking see Frisk playing some shitty soccer or some fucking stupid shit!” Chara groaned against the darkness, as if their protests could somehow make a difference. They vehemently chose not to give the bright thing a look. 

That didn’t last long. Regardless of Chara’s angry bitterness towards Frisk and towards their own situation, that thing was entertainment. It was something. Chara always feel sick if they spend a long time not looking at the images. Darkness wasn’t comforting, and they’d rather listen to Frisk than to their own ears ringing.

So they begrudgingly stood up, disgusted, expecting to see Frisk walking home with a trophy. 

Instead, they saw some stark and different. They stopped dead in their tracks, squinting at whatever had appeared in front of them. They rubbed their eyes over and over again to make sure they weren’t hallucinating.

They weren’t looking at an image of Frisk. They were looking at a bleached gray door. They reached out towards the wooden mystery, and rubbed its smooth surface.

The smooth, gray wood of the door Chara now faced seemed so out of the ordinary from the black background they normally looked upon. Chara was surprised when they felt strength in their legs again. Something…something was pulling them towards the door.

They obliged, and stood up. Chara took their hands off the wood and grabbed the doorknob. It felt cold and still, as if the door hadn’t been used. The knob’s dull purple gray finish seemed so off putting to Chara, considering this was a light gray door. The colors…they just didn’t match.

But that didn’t matter when they pushed the door open. It opened to a sterile, pure white floor with the same, monotonous, featureless black of their previous world hanging over the room where walls would have stood. The room stood dead still, as if the atoms of the air stopped moving.

Chara felt…wrong. They felt wrong they could hear ringing in their ears. That their heart, (they forget they had one) was beating. They felt so wrong and dirty for disturbing the silence and peace of the place.

Chara didn’t feel like taking another step until their gaze set upon something in the middle of the room. That something seemed gelatinous, blobby, and unformed. There was a faint sheen upon its surface too. And Chara felt it seemed…stripped of its pride. They felt forlorn and long gone regality emanate from the creature in the middle of the room.

Curious, they took a step. The creature didn’t move. The whiteness of what Chara thought was its head didn’t seem to acknowledge them. The room still felt as static as before. 

So Chara took another step into the room. They let go of the door’s knob, letting it shut itself if it allowed. It did.

Everything still felt overwhelmingly static. It was all still…still.

Chara took more and more steps until they were at a walking pace. Quickly, they reached the creature who had made its resting place in the middle of the room.

Chara reached for it. They touched something cool and clammy, which felt solid to a point: as if it was dripping, gelatinous ice. The texture unnerved Chara, who shuddered because this was the first time they felt anything for a long time.

They then heard something scream. The creature swerved around in a panic, holding its hands up like a caught robber, saying…something. Its face with was weird and malformed, like hard tumor, and its voice was garbled and static. 

“Excuse me, what? I can’t understand you.” The unsightly face didn’t help Chara out in withstanding the awful noise the creature made. But, they grabbed one of the hands that was held up in the air anyway, their curiosity taking over. They rubbed the creature’s oddly shaped hand and shuddered.

Chara slapped the hand back in disgust, and the creature in front of them shook its hand as if Chara had germs or got something on it. It looked at its hand then back down to Chara. They shuddered at its wide, blank “eyes” and its gap smile that stretched all the way across its face. Regardless of whoever this was, to Chara, it was revolting.

The creature spoke as if to apologize, which Chara guessed by the bowed head and gloomy facial expression. They groaned at the creature’s heavy, static filled voice, which sounded like a radio station gone completely haywire. 

“Stop talking. Your voice is annoying!”

The creature looked to Chara, its wide, gap smile falling. It looked insulted, and hurt.

Chara held their ears as the creature spoke, their face contorted with pain.

“Look, whatever you are, stop talking. Stop. Your voice sounds like a dying rat in the blender of hell.” Chara took a deep breath after they finished talking and stared back up at it. “Look just…nod. Or shake your head. That’s all I want you to do.”

The creature whined at the demand, but meekly nodded its head in compliance. Its gap smile returned.

“Okay…okay.” Chara quickly dusted themself off. As much as they did not like this…thing, it was the first creature they saw in a long time in the endless black void they inhabited. They might never get another chance to talk to anyone in this place ever again. Even if the creature had a terrible voice, it was better than listening and watching Frisk frolic and play, only to be reset over and over again with no chance for a future. If fate was going to deny Chara a future beyond their prison, then Chara would just flip off fate and stay here for a while. With this thing.

Chara prepared themselves to speak. 

“One. Are you a miss?” The creature shook its head.

“Are you a mister?” The creature nodded.

“So…uh…hmmm.” Chara tapped their foot at the answer given for a while, not because it was unexpected, but because it dawned on them this kind of communication couldn’t go on forever. In some way, the two would have to be able to speak sentences to each other that the two could understand.

Chara thought of something, and hoped dearly that the shot in the dark they were about to take hit the bullseye.

“So…mister. Can you sign?” Chara hesitantly signed out their question, not entirely remembering how to do it. They only picked it up from watching Frisk do it with others, but from that view, hands weren’t exactly the clearest thing ever.

The creature nodded, and signed his response.

“YES. I CAN SIGN.” There was a pause between the two for a moment before the gelatinous monster asked a question.

“IF YOU ARE DONE PUTTING FORTH YOUR QUERIES TO ME, I SHALL MAKE AN INTRODUCTION. CHILD, I AM W.D GASTER. OR, DOCTOR GASTER, IF YOU PREFER.” 

Chara breathed a sigh of relief at his answer. So they could talk now. Relieved, they forwardly plopped down next to Gaster like a tired puppy who just ran a marathon. Gaster pulled away from them briefly, but quickly resumed his position from before. He looked down at Chara and wondered why they sat next to him, especially considering the comments earlier on his voice. Chara broke his thoughts with a straightforward question.

“So. Gaster.”

“YES…CHILD?” Chara could barely see him sign the response from their position on the floor, and if they were polite, they would have sat up to see him more clearly. But Chara wasn’t polite, so Gaster moved around them into their front view. Chara wanted to say something now that he was in sight, but found no motivation to and also, nothing to say.

They remained like that for a while. Chara stared at Gaster and Gaster stared back at Chara. They locked gazes like nothing else mattered; if the world became real again their stares would still persist amidst the impossible miracle.

Chara noticed lots of things in Gaster’s blank, black eyes. Even if their color mimicked the walls, filled with an aura of melancholy and quiet, his eyes still said quite a lot. Chara felt like something greater was past the monster, as if destiny told him he was the Tower of Babel and Chara was looking at the rubble years later.

They shuddered to think of what Gaster saw in them. Did they see a past? Did they see their wild, reckless nature, enclosed and trapped in silent eternity? Did they see long gone confidence and the air of composure Chara once had, at the beginning of all this, when they still thought they could have Frisk?  
Did he see their most vulnerable moment: falling into the hole of Mt. Ebott?

Their thoughts raced until Gaster started signing something. Chara was so preoccupied that they didn’t notice his changed facial expression. It looked like a weary, confused frown.

“CHILD…” He signed.

“Chara.”

“CHARA…I MUST PUT FORTH MY CURIOUSITY. HOW DID YOU FIND THIS PLACE? IT EXISTS IN SOLITUDE AND IN A HOLE WHERE NORMAL REALITY CANNOT SEE OR TOUCH IT.”

Chara shrugged.

“Hey man…I just found your door. It kinda sticks out against total darkness. And, hate to say it, I-!” Gaster’s face lit up, and he started signing excitedly, interrupting Chara. 

“MY DOOR…STOOD OUT?”

Chara checked over his shoulder to make sure the door didn’t disappear. Sure enough, it was still there. Sticking out against the undefined blackness like a spotlight in the countryside.

“Yep.” 

Gaster’s gap smile closed into a small, thin lined smile. He turned around and moved near the door, and started to stare at it. Chara couldn’t help but laugh at what they thought was stupid, pathetic display.

“Huh? Hey, mister.” Chara got off the floor and ran over to him. They looked up at where he was staring and then back to him and said “Hey man, what are you staring at? You realize this door will never change, right?”

Gaster put distance between Chara and the door so they both could be in his view. He looked down at Chara and nodded. 

“YES CHILD, I ACTUALLY AM. WHEN I ARRIVED HERE, I STARED AT THIS DOOR FOR AGES. IT DOES NOT CHANGE. THAT IS THE NATURE OF THIS CONTRAPTION.”

“Ok, so why stare at it now?”

“SOMEONE MIGHT COME.” Gaster looked up from Chara and back at his door again. Chara decided not to fight it, and stood right next to him and stared at the door as well. He laughed softly to himself as he heard Chara’s little footsteps, and shifted his gaze down to Chara.

“…THIS IS SAD, ISN’T IT?”

Chara shook their head. “I guess it’s not from the perspective in here. We got nothing else to do.”

“BUT FOR ME, MY PERSPECTIVE, IT’S QUITE HUMLIATING. A SCIENCTIST AS BRILLANT AS MYSELF SHOULD NOT BE PLACED IN SUCH A POSITION WHERE ALL HE CAN PREOCCUPY HIMSELF WITH IS DOOR STARING.”

Chara shrugged. Gaster sighed and turned back to the door.

“A MERE CHILD LIKE YOU COULD NOT UNDERSTAND ETERNITY. YOU, CHARA, ARE FAR FROM LUSTING FOR EXISTENCE AS MUCH AS I.” He turned around slowly to Chara, just as a parent does to their child when they have to make it known they know better. “YOUR YOUTH IS INNOCENT. YOUR PERCEPTION OF TIME IS INFANTILE AND IN ITS ELEMANTARY STAGES. YOU LACK RUDIMENTARY KNOWLEDGE OF THE VERY NATURE OF EXISTENCE AS ON AN UNLIMITED PLANE, SO DO NOT DISRESPECT YOUR SUPERIORS. “ 

Gaster smiled at Chara when he finished talking, satisfied with himself. Even here, he still got enjoyment out of making it known he knew better.

But Chara didn’t respond immediately. In fact, there was a dam of thoughts that burst that Chara had kept to themselves for so long under the guise of attempting to keep their composure and confidence. The damn burst with thoughts they hid under a forced, self-created image Chara wanted to keep.

It was all those thoughts became fuel for what they did next.

They lunged at Gaster. He stumbled, his body lurching forward off balance, but he regained posture quickly. Chara, dissatisfied with their results, rammed him. This time he was pushed into the closed door, and hit with a thud. He looked up at Chara with anger brimming in himself, and pushed against his hunchback to stand much taller than he did before. He stood three times as tall as Chara, who just glared at his height as if he was nothing more than he was before.

“CHILD! DO NOT BE-!” Chara ignored him and his newfound height and charged him. They were powerful for a small child, and Gaster’s height returned to its size he had before on impact. He was groaned in a dizzy daze, his head filled with a kind of pain he hadn’t felt in a long time. When he managed to look up, he found himself staring at a Chara, who stared right back at him with puffy, ruby red eyes and a running nose. They looked like they were on the brink of tears, and their furrowed brow signaled if it happened, it wouldn’t be a pretty cry.

“Don’t…tell me that! I want existence as much as your blobby ass does as well! I’ve been stuck in a miserable limbo, watching the world be reset over and over again with no chance of me ever getting out! With no hope of ever seeing it again!” With their last word, Chara raised their fist up and slugged Gaster, right in the middle of his body. Same as before, it didn’t knock him back much, but he saw stars.

Chara waited a few moments, watching Gaster’s reaction. They felt even angrier that the thing who talked down to them earlier was so weak he couldn’t handle a few punches. It was pathetic. It was hypocritical, and they felt horrible that slugging down someone who thought so highly of himself didn’t give them any satisfaction.

Too tired of constantly fighting everything, from their circumstances to their nonexistent future, Chara collapsed on the ground and cried from the weight of their own thoughts.

Gaster watched the display with wide eyes and pity for the human child. Had he been alive, he would have left them there, scolded them, and would have told the child to grow up. Told them things must move on.

But pride wears away with solitude and time, (and the realization you’re stuck in a room for eternity) so he just carefully watched them from afar. Chara caught on quickly to him, lifted their head, and shakily pointed their finger at him.

“Y-you…”

“YES? YOU REQUEST ME?”

“S-shut up…about wanting existence…about...wanting, no y-yearning…to live again…because…some of us…know…exactly…how…that…feels…some of us…know exactly what eternity…fucking feels like.” Chara stood up slowly, and motioned to the black walls around the room. They locked eyes with Gaster.

“…You see these walls? I bet you’re all too familiar with them. Their colorless, featureless, infinite black existence. Well _pal,_ I know these walls. I know these walls like the back of my hand. They make your time stop moving. They strip you of any conceivable might you might have, because these…these…these walls know you’re stuck here. These walls know you’re stuck here! And I’ve heard their silent songs! I’ve heard their choruses a trillion times over! They sing a dull, worthless, and eternal song! THAT’S LITERALLY ALL THESE WALLS DO AND THEY’RE NOT EVEN WALLS THEY’RE FUCKING WA-!!” Chara felt something on their shoulder and froze. Their eyes followed down to a hand, sitting plainly on their shoulder as if it was a trained bird. They noticed a shadow covering their entire form. Chara looked up to the owner of both, suddenly disappointed with themselves that they didn’t notice Gaster had moved towards them and now had his hand on their shoulder while they prattled on.

“Get. Your hand. Off my shoulder.” 

Gaster didn’t budge, but instead looked at Chara with wide, sympathetic eyes. Chara kicked him moved away, their entire body shaking. It took some for them to pull their gaze up to him again.

He ignored the glare and pulled close to them yet again. Chara wanted to throw a punch, but felt bad about just the _thought_ of punching someone. 

That wasn’t like them. They never hesitated before a punch. They never second guessed themself. That just wasn’t like them.

Gaster watched the turmoil and panic in Chara’s eyes. He watched their eyes race and scatter around the room, a brilliant red butterfly amidst a sea of black nets. He noted their tiniest movements: the twitch of their fingers, the shaking of their body, and the buckling of their legs. Chara’s composure wouldn’t last for much longer.  
At least that’s what he thought.

And, he was right. Chara yielded to weight of the feelings they had stuffed down for so long. They collapsed to the floor again, and cried on their side.

“I…want…to…exist….I…want…to…!” 

Gaster watched their crying for a bit, and then slowly bent down to pick them up. His arms, which were really just extensions of his goop body, curled around Chara with a sticky coldness that felt oddly refreshing. Out of instinct, they hugged him. Gaster’s gap smile thinned into a single line again, and he gently patted their back. He soon put them down and started to sign to them.

“…CHARA…I…SEE WHAT YOU MEAN NOW. I SEE NOW THAT YOU KNOW TIME AND ETERNITY LIKE I DO. I MISTOOK YOU FOR A LOST PERSON, HAPPENING UPON THIS SPACE BY COSMIC ACCIDENT. I WAS NOT AWARE YOU KNEW THESE WALLS AS I DID.” Chara didn’t say anything in response and just turned away in shame. They buried their face in their knees, until Gaster walked around them and lifted their chin up so they could see him.

“LISTEN TO ME…PLEASE. I SUSPECT YOUR ISOLATION IN A VAST NOTHINGNESS HAS TAKEN A TOLL ON YOUR YOUNG MIND. EVEN WITH ETERNITY, A CHILD IS ALWAYS A CHILD. THEY STILL CANNOT SURVIVE ON THEIR OWN. THEIR MINDS CANNOT SURVIVE IN A VACUUM.”

Chara wanted to beat him up for that. So what they hadn’t talked to anyone in who knows how long? It didn’t mean they were a weak child. They were more. They had the potential to destroy. They were Chara. Chara partially pulled away from Gaster, half-heartedly wanting him to continue.  
The other half want to die and not exist.

“SO…CHARA. I MUST APOLOGIZE I MADE SUCH ILL-INFORMED ASSUMPTATIONS ON YOUR STANCE OF THIS PLACE. APOLOGIES ARE USUALLY…BENEATH ME BUT-!” 

Chara grabbed onto Gaster, and held him tight, Gaster rubbed Chara’s hair in return, awestruck that he felt texture for the first time in eternity. He liked their hair: it was light and fluffy. 

Chara held Gaster in their hug for a while. And he did the same. The two melded into an embrace that seemed to be trying to fix the both of them, no matter how impossible the task was. The two hugged each other just as long lost lovers might do after decades apart.

Chara pulled away from the hug and looked up at Gaster, a faint smile trying to keep itself on their face. Tears fell gently from their eyes, and they grabbed Gaster’s hand to wipe them off. Gaster laughed at the gesture, and traced where the tears came down on Chara’s face. They giggled softly and reached for his hand again, to which Gaster responded by pulling them into a gentle hug. Chara only barely managed to feel his hand, obscured by his blob like body.

It seemed warmer and friendlier now. 

And they liked it.


End file.
